Written by anon
When I first came to London, I had just begun what would turn out to be a lengthy relationship. Unfortunately, whilst I was starting university in London, my girlfriend was starting her studies hundreds of miles away. So we commenced the infamous Long-Distance Relationship™.
Looking back on it now, with that relationship now over, what surprises me is how easy I found it in those days. True, the relatively lengthy stretches of time we spent apart were frustrating, but they also added to the excitement of when one of us would get on a train or a Megabus to spend a lusty weekend together. Day-to-day, keeping in contact via perpetual text conversations and frequent Skype calls was a breeze; in lectures I tried my best (often unsuccessfully) to resist the temptation to carry on messaging rather than pay attention.
Early on in the year, I was on a (terrible) night out, waiting to be served. I noticed a couple of girls my age were conspicuously glancing at me from across the bar; out of curiosity I turned and, over the din of bad house music, asked them what was up. One of them approached me, putting her hand on my clavicle and leaning towards my ear rather seductively, and said in a very French drawl: “Are you French?” I had never really been ‘hit on’ before, but I could recognise it when it was happening (apparently the French see the suggestion of being French very sexy). I was not aroused in the slightest, and told her that no, I am not French, and left the bar.
Since the end of the relationship (the reasons for which are not the point of this post), I have embraced The Single Life™. I use both Tinder and Bumble. I flirt with people. I have casual sex. Without blowing my own trumpet too much (so to speak) I have quite a lot of casual sex. I spend less time on my phone and more time talking to others in person; I spend less time in my room on Skype and more time chilling with my housemates. If I am being honest, I am having a lot more fun.
That’s not to say that being in a relationship is a bad thing by any means (even an LDR™). For most of my relationship I did not feel like I was missing out on anything I wanted. Both of us found a great deal of happiness from the relationship and I was sad to see it end.
A relationship can be extremely fulfilling, as most will agree. But The Single Life™ can also be fulfilling: I am a student in London; I am young; I am away from the constraints of living at home and am free of the responsibilities a career will bring – I have no need for the security and stationarity of a committed relationship. Whilst I don’t quite regret coming to London in a relationship, I do wish I had more time to be a single student. This is a unique time in my life; being single will never be the same after graduation.
If a relationship makes you happy, it is a great thing. If a person perfect for me were to come along, I would be mad to turn away from a relationship. But there is no reason for any student to feel obligated to sustain a relationship. We are all incredibly young – there will be time in the future to settle down and become truly committed to another person.
For now, there is a great deal of enjoyment to be had from playing fast and loose (again, so to speak). When I was in a good relationship, I didn’t think twice about turning away from an attractive French girl; now I am single, I wouldn’t miss the chance to see where things might go.
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