Bank of England lowers base rate on street credit

The Bank of England’s Special Monetary Policy Committee (SMPC) met Friday and announced it would be lowering the base rate for street credit by 60 basis points, the largest single reduction in rates since the shocking underperformance of Wiley’s ninth…

Breaking: Failure to maintain globe causes dirt-related diplomatic debacle at LSE

The LSE Directorate had to move quickly late Friday as a custodial issue escalated into a minor diplomatic incident. Sources within the Estates Division confirm that the schedule for cleaning The World Turned Upside Down, commonly known as ‘The Globe’,…

The Scoop: A round-up of the week’s (semi-true) stories

Men’s FC plan trip to UNESCO world heritage site for 2020 Tour Marking a significant break from tradition this year, the LSE Men’s FC have decided on the historic city of Canterbury, home to the famous Cathedral, for their annual…

1st year student has horrible feeling LSE100 might be rubbish

As LSE entered the second half of Lent Term, it emerged that a 1st year student, who cannot be named at this time, had developed a horrible, sinking feeling that LSE100 might actually not be that good. LSE100, the university’s…

The Beaver reports: S.E.X and the City

As living costs skyrocket in London, LSE students are hard pressed to sustain lifestyle habits previous generations took for granted. Whereas students previously could afford gimp leather suits and latex puppy gear out of their student loans, the rising cost…

Ode to the Right Winger

“I have my final victory! The man of words; the child of Thatcher cried. Where is my wreath? My chariot of fire?” “The slings and slurs I suffered so, From wheezing academics in their ivory towers, From triggered libs who…

LSE could go bankrupt ‘any day now’

The decade got off to a rough start for LSE, as it emerged that the university was on the brink of bankruptcy. A spokesperson for the School told the Beaver that the crisis had been discovered ‘about ten minutes after…

Big red ball in NAB ‘might fall at any moment’ warns LSE Director

Dame Minouche Shafik has warned staff and students this week that the ‘big red ball’ suspended in the NAB was not nearly as securely fastened as ‘we could have previously hoped for’. The Director’s response came after reports that several…

MSc Financial Astrology Launching in 2020

One of the most common criticisms levelled at the economics profession is the failure to predict the financial crisis of 2008. Indeed, it was this very issue that was raised by the Queen during her now (in)famous visit to the…

New Black Mirror Special to be Based on LSE

Following the success of interactive adventure Bandersnatch in 2018, Netflix has announced plans for a brand new ‘choose your own adventure’ special inspired by LSE.  Bandersnatch, under the umbrella of the Black Mirror anthology, follows programmer Stefan as he navigates…